My friend bought a book about moon signs and sent me all this info about moon in Aquarius women, which would be me. There was this cool page on questions to journal about so I wrote them all down and thought it would be fun to answer them for myself. I wrote down the questions, took a 5 minute break, and am coming back to them with technically fresh eyes (since my short-term memory is laughable). A lot of it may be rambling, but I’m excited. 🙂
1. Are you happy with the community that surrounds you? If not, what can you do to cultivate a greater sense of belonging?
This is a funny question to think about now because today I’m going to an event with some friends and some friend’s friends. The friend’s friends outweigh the actual number of friends, so I’m not too sure how to feel. Also, I’m not sure how I got into this situation lol but it may just be another staunch reminder that I shouldn’t aim to put together plans myself — I should just wait until someone invites me to something and then decline or accept or something, especially if it’s something I don’t care too much about. What can I do to cultivate a greater sense of belonging? I’m open to the idea of not being so closed off, so I’m going to try that. I may not want to be around everyone I’m seeing today, but I do want to go to this specific place, so maybe that’s the bright side. Maybe I can cultivate a greater sense of belonging by staying in my lane, minding my own business, and looking on the bright side, always lol.
2. How is your relationship with technology? Do you spend too much time with your computer or phone? If so, recall some stuff you did when you were younger and commit to doing one.
It varies, but overall, yes, I am very dependent on technology. I do everything on my computer or by ways of an internet connection. Actually, all day yesterday I didn’t really go on Twitter and I felt pretty good, mentally. Today I logged back in and scrolled for a bit and felt so many low vibration feelings come back. Maybe the goal is to stay away from Twitter for a bit. When I was younger, I was self-contained and happy. I don’t know what specifically made me happy because everything did. Everything. Being with friends, being without friends, eating, not eating, school, no school, etc. Life was so simple back then. I think what I could do, though, is maybe continue on this path of being at ease by myself. I’m okay at it, but I want to be better. I want to wander off alone and not feel anything but excitement. That’s the goal.
3. Are you an original? Write down at least 4 ways in which you march to the beat of your own drum. How do you feel about being different?
I am. I am original because I am, so it’s hard to say how I march to the beat of my own drum. It’s hard to even say I like “unconventional” things because everywhere I go, I find like-minded people who are interested in what I’m interested in, so I don’t ever really feel isolated in my interests. But I guess for conversation’s sake…? Uh. I don’t really know. My MBTI type is INFJ. That should tell anyone all they need to know about me lol. I feel different, but I can’t say exactly how. I talk funny and kind of walk funny, and my laugh is a bit intrusive, and my sense of humour is a bit funny, etc, etc. But isn’t everyone’s, to some degree? Right? I say this, but those people who agree with me would be the first to call me odd, so. I don’t know. It’s happened before lol.
4. Do you have a lot of loose ends in your life? How might you ground yourself more so things get done? Prioritize one project and commit to finishing it.
I don’t, thankfully. My loose ends maybe would just be my writing projects. I am committed to finishing them, but the way my brain is set up… and the fact that there’s no real deadline makes it so that I’m not really in a hurry. I’ve written a novel in a month, a novel in two months, and a novel in five. When I’m inspired, I can write every day. But if I’m not, my first goal is to get that inspiration back or maybe reroute. I have two projects I’m currently in-between and they’ll both get done in their own time. Could I ground myself more? Definitely. Do I know how? No. Will I? Probably not. My way of doing things hasn’t ruined any good opportunities for me yet, so I’m not going to change it.
5. Do you like to shock people or stir things up? Are you expressing this side of you in a way you feel good about?
No, I dislike shock value people. All shock and no substance! Anyone who says “just to play Devil’s Advocate…” has no compassion. The Devil doesn’t need another advocate; he already has too many. Also, I oftentimes find people who say things like this to be horrible people. If there’s something you want to ~ponder for conversation sake, just say what you mean and go. Spare people, please.
6. Do you consider yourself androgynous? Journal about that and any masculine qualities you have. Do you denigrate this side or embrace it?
I have never considered myself androgynous. I read this question and thought, ‘could I be?’ I might be. I don’t know. I definitely think growing up I was a bit more masculine than my parents would’ve liked. I can tell my way of doing some things carries a stronger masculine energy too. Both my Venus and Mars signs are Leo — I have a lot of aggressive fire energy that comes out whenever it wants. I want to try to incorporate a stronger feminine energy in my day-to-day life, but I don’t reeeeeally know how. I do have an incredibly feminine shape and for that I’m very happy. I think lately as I’ve taken greater pride in what I look like, it’ll be easier for me to access this part of myself. Not to say that feminine energy is tied to outward appearance! Mine personally might be, though, or I feel it’s at least a starting point. I didn’t start really feeling like a girl until I realized I actually looked very conventionally like one. (Also note I wouldn’t judge another woman based on if she looked feminine or not. This is purely an anecdote about myself.)
7. Do you shy away from emotional involvement, fearing it will limit your freedom? Are there people who should know about your need for more breathing room? Write about how you might gently but firmly tell them.
Sometimes I do! At times, I’m not comfortable with my emotions when they get too strong so I get weird and just don’t talk to people lol. Though, it’s funny, because I am a very emotional person. I feel things deeply and I respond better to emotions than facts. But I guess this specific moon placement builds a wall where I would’ve liked a bridge. What’s also funny is when I think of my future boyfriend, I think of being with him a lot and hanging out — and then promptly telling him to leave me alone because we don’t always have to do everything together. That is the complete fantasy lol. I don’t think being in a relationship will limit my freedom, though. I think some relationships might, but then those are not the relationships I want. In my life now, there is no one who smothers me, so I’m happy. In the past, there have been. My solution? Stop talking to them lol. I wish I had the words!! I really don’t, though. I try so hard to understand others, so when someone puts in minimal effort to understand me, my attention span gets really short and I just leave. I keep telling myself “I don’t have time…” as if I’m actually doing anything else. Once again, probably due to my lovely Mars in Leo placement.
8. Do you feel more grounded in your power these days? If not, spend more time with the earth. Walk barefoot or lie on the grass.
Some days, I am not on the Earth and my head is who-knows-where. On those days, a good root chakra cleansing always helps. Overall, though, I think I’m better. Grounded. I love walking barefoot and I used to do it all the time when I was younger. Outside, to the park, down the street. I now only walk barefoot in my house or around my house. I don’t walk barefoot on grass, though. I also refuse to lie on it.
9. Are you listening to your inner voice? Set aside time to hear what your true self may be trying to tell you and write about that.
Yes! I do often. The message is always “you’re going to be okay”, which I’m sure alludes directly to my constant state of panic lol. But this voice is always right, so I trust it.
10. Are you able to see or sense the future? Write about a time when you “knew” something would happen and it did.
Yesss. Lots of instances. Sometimes I have feelings of dread and then something bad happens — but not like a pre-emptive dread, like I’m paranoid (which I was at a point). More like ‘I just feel B is a better option than A’, and then it ends up being the better choice. I can’t think of anything specific right now. The most profound example I can think of is before my car crash in 2001. I was maybe 8 or 9, and it was snowing heavily. We were supposed to drive back — five hours — in this ridiculous storm, and out of nowhere, I just felt like we shouldn’t go. I kept saying we should wait it out or stay but no one listened. Then, crash. And it wasn’t even like I was a scared child before that. I didn’t think bad things could happen to me. But I felt so strongly that we should wait it out, stay an extra day, and I said so many times, but we all know how little children are listened to. Anyway. Yes, it’s a thing.